so this morning we were sitting in a session, at CMA as we do most wed mornings....(doing a beth moore study) and the speaker gets up. she is talking about the peace corp. in russian lands. and says, "speaking of russian, i want you to meet my friend heather" so we are all looking around... "heather are you here? heather w...?"
what?! i am thinking... me???
i raise my hand.
"oh there you are! remember when i tried to impress you all with my russian.. well, heather here is fluent in russian, and have you seen the article in the newspaper about her and her husband?....yadah yadah "
1- i am dying laughing...cuz i am soo NOT fluent! i can order french fries, buy black hats, red pencils. rattle off pleasantries... but i have forgotten most of it, except when i dream. weird russian phrases pop up then ???weird i know! but i am weird.
2- the article only talks about shmuli not me. and it was back near chistmas. it was a pretty awesome piece. you never know what is going to be written up! i was actually surprised.
our big confrence with both the jews and the arabs is causing alot of stir in this redneck area in which i live. so i am cautious. actually, i get suspicious when people start to talk to me til i know they are safe. mostly it has been really positive!
why am i surprised? when i was in israel, the biggest issues about being a jew that i was on the receiving end of was from the christians, not the arabs. which is pretty sad...especially since i am a believer.
so i sat there, totally embarassed, giggling -cuz that is just what we do. Crazy Aunt Purl inappropriately hugs, in my family we laugh at really bad times like oh, EMERGENCY ROOM visits. yep, i sit there giggling...
I am shocked that she remembered me, and waiting for the reactions of those around me. my mom, is laughing..cuz like i said, we laugh.
and i am trying not to see who is looking at me. i want to hide.
why do i do that?
why do i let this fear of what men think creep in?
it is so crazy. cuz like the ever wise Hoho says, to those who gripe at him . "i am sorry, somewhere i must have given you the impression that i was doing this for you!" I do what i do, am what i am ( to quote popeye) not for people. but for G-d. i want to trust more. not in people. cuz we kinda suck, but in G-d. i can trust what He is doing in someone even if i dont really like that person. i want to trust Him more. Believe Him more.
so that was my weird day.
tomorrow i get to spin with the girls! whoohoo! so!!!! excited!
i will try to remember my camera!